Growth and change

Assumptions of Human Nature: Growth and Change

In my counselling practice, I draw my understanding of human nature from the combination of models I use: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Behavioral Family Therapy (CBFT), and Narrative Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (NCBT). I believe in the natural ability of humans to transform negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, along with these other key assumptions about human nature, in my counselling approach:

Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours Are Interconnected: How we think shapes how we feel, and how we feel influences our actions. By changing our thoughts, we can break negative cycles and create positive shifts in both emotions and actions.
Present-Focused Healing: While our past shapes us, change happens in the present. I focus on addressing current thoughts, feelings, and behaviours to foster healing without being bogged down by the past.
You Have Control: Clients have the power to take control of their emotions and behaviours with support. I believe clients can challenge unhelpful beliefs and behaviours, regardless of past trauma or external pressures.

In summary, I believe that, much like the art of kintsugi, with the right support, clients can transform their lives by reshaping how they think, feel, and act—embracing their struggles as opportunities for growth and turning challenges into sources of strength and beauty.

Understanding How Challenges Develop

In my approach, I have the view that problems can often arise from a combination of unhelpful thinking patterns, core beliefs, and external influences. Here’s how I see the development of emotional and behavioural struggles:

Negative Thinking: When we repeatedly think negatively about ourselves or the world, it creates a cycle of distress. For example, thinking "I'm not good enough" can lead to feelings of anxiety, which perpetuates the cycle.
Cognitive Distortions: Distorted thoughts like catastrophizing (expecting the worst) or all-or-nothing thinking can worsen emotional struggles. Challenging these patterns helps develop more positive thinking.
Core Beliefs: Deep, unconscious beliefs—like “I’m unworthy” or “I can’t trust people”—often drive emotional pain and relationship issues. Identifying and transforming these beliefs can lead to healthier emotional responses.
External Influences: Family dynamics, work stress, and societal pressures can also contribute to psychological distress. These external factors interact with our internal thoughts and beliefs, making problems more complex.
Lack of Personal Agency: Many clients feel powerless or stuck, unable to change their emotional responses. I help clients regain control over their actions and emotional states by addressing negative thought patterns.

In short, problems develop from negative thoughts, distorted beliefs, and environmental pressures. By addressing these in the present, clients can break these cycles and begin their journey toward change.

A Path to Change: How Our Approach Supports Transformation

Healing, in my approach, is a process of transforming trauma into strength. I guide clients through a path of healing where they gain control over their emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. Here’s how it works:

Challenging Negative Thoughts: Trauma often leads to negative self-beliefs like "I'm broken" or "I’ll never be okay." We work together to challenge and replace these thoughts with more realistic and empowering beliefs, such as "I can heal and grow from this." This shift helps reduce distress, and fosters hope.
Healing Relationships: Trauma is often complicated by unhealthy family dynamics. I help clients identify how family interactions affect their healing and work to foster healthier communication and support.
Rewriting Your Story: Part of the path is reclaiming client's personal narratives. Instead of seeing themselves as defined by their trauma, they begin to see themselves as survivors—stronger and more resilient.
Building Confidence: Real change happens when clients feel empowered. We set achievable goals, try new coping strategies, and build confidence through small successes. This increases control over their healing journey.
Empowerment and Growth: With every step, clients not only heal but grow into their best selves. By transforming their trauma into something meaningful, they can thrive, not just survive.

In summary, the path to change involves challenging negative thoughts, healing relationships, and reclaiming one's narrative. Much like the art of kintsugi, where broken pieces are mended with gold, clients can transform their trauma into strength, finding beauty in their healing and resilience, ultimately discovering healing in the present.